Jay Feely would like to debate religion on Twitter
One of my favorite comedians is Jim Gaffigan. He has endless great bits, but one of my favorites is about religion. The gist of the joke is if you want to make someone uncomfortable, just say to them, "I'd like to talk to you about Jesus." Well, Jets kicker Jay Feely would like to talk to you about Jesus -- on Twitter!
It all started with his idiotic observation regarding businesses saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." This is a grown man getting upset because Old Navy won't mention his religious belief by name. I don't think I've ever once heard a Jew say, "Oy! I am not shopping at Pottery Barn ever again because they say Happy Holidays instead of Happy Chanukah!"
I could sit here and give you thousands of reasons why religion is stupid, but 1) I'd just be rehashing obvious stuff and 2) either you agree or you don't, so why am I going to do a hard sell? It's like talking to a wall. Well, a wall that has such a hard time coping with being alone in the universe that it invented a magical father figure who watches over it and loves it unconditionally, but a wall all the same.
Instead, I decided to fish through the hundreds of responses to Feely's Jesus-lovin' Tweets for the best of the best. Here are what I consider the top 5:
5. I'm using this one first because while most of us are in agreement that a magical being watching over us is funny, there are plenty of people who agree with Feely and/or love them some Christianity. And I think cheer4ever09 has some airtight proof of God -- your organs.
We all have the same organs, and that's because of God. Well, I've seen a lot of pornography in my life, and I've seen the dudes who star in them. Let me tell you -- we don't all have the same organs.
Then again, maybe cheer4ever09 is talking about the musical instrument, in which case she's right. I spend my quiet weeknights playing Brass Bonanza on my organ for at least an hour per night, just like everyone else in the world. Thanks, God!
4. I almost didn't reprint this excellent zinger from Dougcox06 because of the anti-gay remark, but I thought the comedic value outweighed the hate speech. I'm sorry? What's that? Fairies don't always refer to gays in a mean-spirited way? Wow, that's crazy.
I'm not sure if praying to sky fairies was Feely's problem. Look at the Cleveland Indians of 1989. Eddie Harris and Pedro Serrano were deeply into religion and both played really well that year. I hate to rip apart this guy's points with such solid facts rooted in reality, but that's just the kind of high-brow writer I am.
3. This guy is right. If Jay Feely doesn't shine the spotlight on the marketing techniques of Old Navy, who will? I'm getting sick and tired of the news focusing on things like "war" and "health care" and "equality" and "the economy." Can someone please make someone else say Merry Christmas to Jay Feely so he can feel like the special Christian he is?
2. This one genuinely made me LOL and was in response to this Jay Feely Tweet. For all I know every school in the country promotes being Muslim and sets bibles on fire, but there's no better way to cut the legs out from someone than using the Faketown dig.
Next time your girlfriend gets pissed at you about something, whip it out. The dig, pervert. If she says she doesn't want to hang out with your friends because they suck and she'd rather hang out with her friends tonight, say, "What friends? The ones you went to Fake University with?" It makes no sense but by the time she figures it out you'll be at Hooters with your friends checking the Cavaliers score on ESPN's bottom line.
1. Really, I could rank these in any order. I just know people love lists and countdowns. I saved this one for last because John Waldowski is under the impression that unicorns aren't real. Oh, is that so? Well tell that to the unicorn I made to love to Heidi Klum on. I remember it like it was yesterday.
Update: I'm being told that I did not make love to Heidi Klum on a unicorn. I was actually arrested for public lewdness after riding the mechanical horse outside the Shop-Rite naked. My bad. I get that sort of thing confused all the time. The LSD is becoming a problem.
8 comments:
You state above, "while most of us are in agreement that a magical being watching over us is funny, there are plenty of people who agree with Feely and/or love them some Christianity." Speaking of Christianity alone, there are 2 billion Christians, while only roughly 850 million atheist/agnostics in the world http://www.indopedia.org/Major_world_religions.html . Then there's the over 1 billion followers of Islam, 900 million Buddhist's and so on.
So whether I'm a Pastafarian, Scientologist, Jew, or Catholic is completely irrelevant. The Vast majority of the world believes in some type of "magic father figure" that is akin to talking to a wall. I have many agnostic/atheist friends, but none of them has the smug, self centered audacity to think themselves in the majority. Nor would they have the intolerance to look down their noses at others and say, your wrong I'm write and your a big stupid head.
I know everyone has a an opinion in this world, but maybe step down off your soapbox next time.
It's you're, not your.
99% of the population used to think the world was flat...lots of people believing something is an idiotic argument... Just sayin... and besides everyone knows the one true faith is the Flying Spaghetti Monster... All Praise...
http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/
The first comment proved the point that Feely is an idiot. Most people do believe in some type of religion. And in the U.S., majority identify as some type of Christian.
It is impossible for atheists to oppress Christians ( as Feely, Oreilly, and other nutjobs say) in this country. According to polls, most "Murricans" would vote for a convicted murderer-rapist before they would vote for an atheist.
Atheists are a minority, and it is acceptable to hate Us. We might be well-represented on blogs, but that's about it. People like Feely need to shut up about the anti-Christian bias that doesn't exist.
I, for one, appreciate gally's attempt to defend his or her writes as a Pastafarian, Scientologist, Jew, or Catholic.
Actually, unless you're claiming to be the soap box instead of posses it, it's your. You're is a contraction of you are, while your means your.
Chris, exactly. A lot of people believe a lot of things and a lot of people disagree with those things. It's just a shame that someone can be chastised for voicing their opinion.
Greg, thanks for coming out. Yes, it's true. Atheists and Agnostics are definitely the minority of the world. Nowhere did I, nor Jay Feely oppress you for your beliefs. Somehow though, it has become acceptable for the non-believers to oppress the believers. Believers are looked down upon by the vast majority of non-believers as having something wrong with them or being genetically deficient. That's what oppression is. It doesn't have to be people shipping other people off to internment camps to be incinerated as the Nazi's did. That was just one extremely disgusting, albeit creative way of dealing with it. The Jews were persecuted as much for their religion as their genetics. Somehow, if you don't kill the people that you're trying to oppress, but rather just infer that they're inbred half wits it's all okay. I know that example was a little extreme, but the point seems to have the same basis.
1 Happy St, Thanks.
The plural of Nazi is Nazis, not Nazi's.
SSB is correct, gally. It's not "your" wrong, it's "you're wrong." It's not "your" a big stupid head, it's "you're" a big stupid head. And "right" is not spelled "write." A writer who uses poor grammar and poor spelling is next to impossible to take seriously, no matter how effectively he or she is trying to make a point. And nice job in missing Chris' sarcasm in his reference to a flying spaghetti monster. Pastafarian, indeed!
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